Saturday, August 13, 2011

Bullying - Why Does It Happen and What To Do About It

This weekend, I had the opportunity to watch the Lifetime Movie "Odd Girl Out" with Alexa Vega and Lisa Vidal. This movie is based on the book of the same name by Rachel Simmons. To summarize the movie, a teenage girl, Vanessa, is a part of the in crowd who is led by her best friend Stacy. One of the members of the clique, Nikki, is jealous of the relationship between Vanessa and Stacy, and seeks to break up the bond. I missed a part of the movie, but somehow it was rumored that Vanessa tried to date a guy that Nikki liked. From there things go downhill. The clique turns on Vanessa and begins to bully her in school and via the internet. She gets pushed to the point of trying to commit suicide, but luckily she was unsuccessful. When she returns to school, she gains back her self-esteem and self-confidence by putting Stacy, Nikki, and the clique in their places.

This movie is reminiscent of some of the things that our children and teens endure each day as they go to school, walk the streets, or chat on the net. They are verbally and sometimes physically abused over small things and sometimes nothing at all. Too often these situations get swept under the rug as kids being kids, but these incidents can have lasting effects and affect future relationships with others.

I recall several incidents in my senior year of high school where a clique of girls called me derogatory names and harassed me whenever they saw me. I was the new girl in school, and apparently I had captured the attention of one of the boys that someone in the clique liked.  This is where I believe things went left. We did not date. Only a few conversations in school and over the phone. I guess that was enough to be hated and treated like an outcast. My senior year should have been one of the best years of school, but instead I often had feelings of insecurity and fear.

I'd like to take this opportunity to do my part in the race against bullying.  Therapy should be initiated for those involved - the person being bullied and the person doing the bullying.  There are reasons that these situations occur.  Dealing with the issues instead of avoiding them can be a step in the right direction.

The following lists are provided by the American Psychological Association (APA) as recommendations for teachers, school administrators, parents, and children on how to take action against bullying.

Teachers and School administrators
- Be knowledgeable and observant
- Involve students and parents
- Set positive expectations about behavior for students and adults

Parents of students being bullied
- Observe your child for signs they might be bullied
- Teach your child how to handle being bullied
- Set boundaries with technology

Parents of students engaged in bullying
- Stop bullying before it starts
- Make your home bully free
- Look for self-esteem issues

Students
- Report bullying and cyberbullying
- Don 't bully back
- Avoid being alone

For more details on the above lists click here. Or for more information on bullying, visit the APA's page .

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