Five Love Languages for Valentine's Day

Have you ever gave a gift or done something for your mate and they lit up like a Christmas tree?  If you answered "yes", chances are that whatever you gave/did spoke to your mate's love language.  So, "what is a love language?" you may be asking.  The Five Love Languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  Dr. Gary Chapman created these languages as a way of helping us to recognize what words or actions make us feel more loved and cared for.  He contends that out of the five, there is at least one that speaks more deeply to us.  This is considered our primary language.  By knowing our love language and that of our mate, we can create more close and intimate relationships.   To learn more about the Five Love Languages click here.

Using the Five Love Languages, I created this video to give an overview of the love languages as well as ideas that you can do for your mate for Valentine's Day.  The detailed list  of ideas is outlined below.

 

WORD OF AFFIRMATION –  genuine encouragement, compliments, verbal praise; the key is to make your mate feel loved and cared for through your words

(1)    Write a poem or love letter and leave it for your mate on the pillow for them to get when they wake up or place it somewhere they would easily find it.

(2)    Create a loving message  and write it on the bathroom mirror with shaving cream or lipstick (something that can be washed off)

(3)    Make or buy a t-shirt for yourself with a loving message for your mate.  Show up at their job on their lunch break or welcome them at the door at home wearing your t-shirt with a bouquet of flowers

QUALITY TIME –  where you are focused and present meaning your mate has your undivided attention

(1)    Plan a special getaway to a place that your mate likes (i.e. bed and breakfast)

(2)    Remember what it was like when you first dated your mate.  Ask your partner out to coffee or a special restaurant with a secluded area. Put away the phones/computers etc and just sit and chat. Have some questions available to start a conversation so the topic isn’t about work, the kids, or regular day-to-day stuff. Really find out some new information about them. Or reminisce.

(3)    Play board games, video games, watch a movie, cook a favorite dish, or even ride bikes.  You can choose one of these options or several.  The key is to have fun spending time together

RECEIVING GIFTS – visual expression of love that tells your mate that they are thought of and cared for

(1)    Choose something that the person needs, likes or enjoys.  This shows that you’re being attentive to the needs and desires of your mate.  Some suggestions are his/her favorite cologne/perfume, a watch (with a favorite sports team), article of clothing, etc. 

(2)    If you decide to go the traditional route with flowers, candy, and balloons, you can make it a fun adventure by making it a scavenger hunt.  At each interval, your mate finds a new “treasure”.

(3)    For the gentleman: create a basket with his favorite liquor,  bar set with glasses, and favorite music.  Add cigars if he likes them

For the lady: create a basket with a bottle of her favorite wine, a set of wine glasses.  Include candles and bubble bath to make it a pamper package.

ACTS OF SERVICE –  performing a service or chore out of love, not obligation

(1)    This could be cooking dinner,cleaning up the house, or completing tasks on the honey do list

(2)    Wash/clean/wax your mate’s car, fill with gas

(3)    Time and rest can also be considered as gifts for act of service.  If your
mate is exhausted from work, dealing with the kids, or some other stressor.  Give them a day to themselves to unwind and relax.  If you need a visual representative to give, create a “coupon”  that your mate can redeem.

PHYSICAL TOUCH - touching your mate in a way that makes them feel loved (this is more about intimacy than the act of sex)

(1)    Express your love for your mate through hugging, kissing, holding hands, or stroking the side of your mate’s face.  The key is to make these gestures often without provocation.  Or you could play a board game where certain things match a physical touch.  For instance, if you played Monopoly, every time you passed GO, you could kiss.

(2)    Cuddling in front of the fireplace or watching a movie

(3)    Spa day for your mate performed by you.  Give him/her a scalp or foot massage, back rub, manicure, or pedicure.  Another idea is a good back scratch.  Something about that makes you feel good all over

These are just suggestions - you may have others.  The point is to be creative.  Put some thought and feeling behind the words and actions to make that special someone feel special.  This is an opportunity to express yourself.  And if you feel stumped on what his/her love language may be, ask the question "what things or situations make you feel loved and appreciated?".  Their answer should fall under at least one of the languages.  But if that still doesn't work, try doing something from each of the languages and pay attention to their response.