Five Love Languages for Valentine's Day

Have you ever gave a gift or done something for your mate and they lit up like a Christmas tree?  If you answered "yes", chances are that whatever you gave/did spoke to your mate's love language.  So, "what is a love language?" you may be asking.  The Five Love Languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  Dr. Gary Chapman created these languages as a way of helping us to recognize what words or actions make us feel more loved and cared for.  He contends that out of the five, there is at least one that speaks more deeply to us.  This is considered our primary language.  By knowing our love language and that of our mate, we can create more close and intimate relationships.   To learn more about the Five Love Languages click here.

Using the Five Love Languages, I created this video to give an overview of the love languages as well as ideas that you can do for your mate for Valentine's Day.  The detailed list  of ideas is outlined below.

 

WORD OF AFFIRMATION –  genuine encouragement, compliments, verbal praise; the key is to make your mate feel loved and cared for through your words

(1)    Write a poem or love letter and leave it for your mate on the pillow for them to get when they wake up or place it somewhere they would easily find it.

(2)    Create a loving message  and write it on the bathroom mirror with shaving cream or lipstick (something that can be washed off)

(3)    Make or buy a t-shirt for yourself with a loving message for your mate.  Show up at their job on their lunch break or welcome them at the door at home wearing your t-shirt with a bouquet of flowers

QUALITY TIME –  where you are focused and present meaning your mate has your undivided attention

(1)    Plan a special getaway to a place that your mate likes (i.e. bed and breakfast)

(2)    Remember what it was like when you first dated your mate.  Ask your partner out to coffee or a special restaurant with a secluded area. Put away the phones/computers etc and just sit and chat. Have some questions available to start a conversation so the topic isn’t about work, the kids, or regular day-to-day stuff. Really find out some new information about them. Or reminisce.

(3)    Play board games, video games, watch a movie, cook a favorite dish, or even ride bikes.  You can choose one of these options or several.  The key is to have fun spending time together

RECEIVING GIFTS – visual expression of love that tells your mate that they are thought of and cared for

(1)    Choose something that the person needs, likes or enjoys.  This shows that you’re being attentive to the needs and desires of your mate.  Some suggestions are his/her favorite cologne/perfume, a watch (with a favorite sports team), article of clothing, etc. 

(2)    If you decide to go the traditional route with flowers, candy, and balloons, you can make it a fun adventure by making it a scavenger hunt.  At each interval, your mate finds a new “treasure”.

(3)    For the gentleman: create a basket with his favorite liquor,  bar set with glasses, and favorite music.  Add cigars if he likes them

For the lady: create a basket with a bottle of her favorite wine, a set of wine glasses.  Include candles and bubble bath to make it a pamper package.

ACTS OF SERVICE –  performing a service or chore out of love, not obligation

(1)    This could be cooking dinner,cleaning up the house, or completing tasks on the honey do list

(2)    Wash/clean/wax your mate’s car, fill with gas

(3)    Time and rest can also be considered as gifts for act of service.  If your
mate is exhausted from work, dealing with the kids, or some other stressor.  Give them a day to themselves to unwind and relax.  If you need a visual representative to give, create a “coupon”  that your mate can redeem.

PHYSICAL TOUCH - touching your mate in a way that makes them feel loved (this is more about intimacy than the act of sex)

(1)    Express your love for your mate through hugging, kissing, holding hands, or stroking the side of your mate’s face.  The key is to make these gestures often without provocation.  Or you could play a board game where certain things match a physical touch.  For instance, if you played Monopoly, every time you passed GO, you could kiss.

(2)    Cuddling in front of the fireplace or watching a movie

(3)    Spa day for your mate performed by you.  Give him/her a scalp or foot massage, back rub, manicure, or pedicure.  Another idea is a good back scratch.  Something about that makes you feel good all over

These are just suggestions - you may have others.  The point is to be creative.  Put some thought and feeling behind the words and actions to make that special someone feel special.  This is an opportunity to express yourself.  And if you feel stumped on what his/her love language may be, ask the question "what things or situations make you feel loved and appreciated?".  Their answer should fall under at least one of the languages.  But if that still doesn't work, try doing something from each of the languages and pay attention to their response. 

It's Party Time!!!!!

Well, not actually.  But I am in the mood to celebrate.  I weighed myself this morning and I have lost my first 10 pounds.  I'm so excited and happy about it, I could do back flips (hey, I could add that to my cardio). LOL.  Anywho,  I just wanted to share this accomplishment.  More to come in the weeks ahead. 

Not Again....

Yet another month without a successful conception.  This month, I wasn't as disappointed or down like I was last month.  Don't get me wrong, it still hurt, but to a lesser degree.  I thought about the stories I heard about my mom and the miscarriages that she had years before I was born, and about other family members that never had children for unknown reasons.  This led my thoughts into wondering if there could be something genetic going on.  I've had all the fertility tests done and all say there's nothing wrong, but there has to be something.  My only justification at this point is that God doesn't feel it's time yet.  That in itself can be disappointing because it seems like there's something wrong with us preventing parenthood and our patience is wearing thin.  Prayer has definitely been helpful dealing with all of this, but I am really curious about the possible genetic link.  We've decided to give it one more month and then off to the doctors we go.

Weight Loss Chronicles - Week 3 & 4

Just like clockwork, weeks 3 and 4 have been difficult.   The cravings kicked in, my motivation to exercise waned, and water weight (in the form of bloat) added 4 pounds.  A couple days I had thoughts to just give up and go back to eating everything under the sun and resume my reign as couch potato.  What turned things around for me was when I saw and heard my husband wanting to give up too.  He had been doing so well with eating properly, riding his bike more, and doing the crazy cardio dances with me even though he didn't think they were masculine.  With this in mind, I realized that my problem was becoming his problem and I did some meditating.  I found out that I was letting my feelings dictate my motivation to exercise, my drive to eat fatty foods, and I had to get this in check - ASAP.  So the good news is that I'm getting back on track and the bloat is gone. I weighed myself this morning and so far I've dropped 9 pounds.  More to come.... 

Weight Loss Chronicles - Week 1 & 2

The video below chronicles the challenges, successes, and tips I've experienced over the past two weeks.  My hopes are to post an update on my progress here or on my YouTube channel every other week. 

Weight Loss Redux

A few months back I mentioned that I was trying to lose weight and that I was trying to shed pounds through diet and exercise.  Well, things went left and whatever I did lose (a whopping 4 lbs) I gained back.  Soooo, just like I said in my New Year's video, time shouldn't be wasted when it comes to achieving goals.  I took my own advice and have started back on the weight loss journey.

At this point, I have completed my first week of eating better and exercising.  On Tuesday and Thursday, I did 30 minutes of strength training, and 25-30 minutes of cardio (Intro to Belly Dancing and Billy Blanks Jr).  On Saturday, I rode my bike about 3 miles and did 30 minutes on the treadmill.  I have to admit that I felt more energized after working out.  I can certainly use it.

Eating has actually been easy and enjoyable this week.  I ate a high fiber cereal with milk or not in the mornings, and portioned entrees for lunch.  Dinner is generally steak, chicken, or soup with sides of veggies.  Snacks have been anything from baked chips to smoothies.  Before, I was a soda feine, but I've cut back and drink more water or flavored water (I try to watch how much sugar I take in).  Overall, my food intake has been between 1200-1550 calories per day with my goal of calories to burn each week set at 980.  In just a week's time, I've lost 5 pounds. 

I feel excited about the progress so far.  I've been telling myself to take it a day at a time and not to get so caught up in the number of pounds I want to lose overall and when I want to lose it by.  I think that added to my stress and feelings of discouragement beforehand.  Especially when I didn't see results after putting in the work.  One thing is for certain, 2012 will be my year of positive change.

Ways to Save Money

The shape of the economy, cost of gas, lost jobs, and inflation on living expenses can wreak havoc on the pocket book.  In 2011, my husband and I did some investigating on our expenses to see where we could cut back.  The video below shares in detail some of the things that we have tried.

 

If you have some tips on other ways to save moolah, please post in the comments.