I'm Baaaccckkk! Did Ya Miss Me????

It's been some months since I've posted anything or even made a YouTube video.  I've been dealing with a physical issue that some days has been quite unbearable.  Once I'm back to normal I plan to make a video or two to share what's been going on with me and the thoughts in my head.  I tell ya, it's good stuff. :-) 

And to those of you who have reached out to check on me, thank you soooo much.  You're the best!

XOXO,
Mello

Hair Update

So far, my hair has been responding very well to the Jessicurl products. I haven't used the Kinky Curly Custard that often, but when I do, I'm pleased with the results. My normal regimen is to wash my hair weekly with Jessicurl Hair Cleansing Cream and then follow-up with Jessicurl Deep Treatment as my leave-in. I skip the conditioning step because it seemed like a waste to use the deep treatment, wash it out, and then put it back in.

There is one thing I'd like to try for my regimen and that is to use a plastic cap with a hooded dryer and heat to really get the ingredients from the deep treatment into my hair. And then follow up with some cool air to seal the cuticle. I think this will help to keep in moisture, though I'm not really seeing a problem in this area since I've been using the Jessicurl products. I think I just want to see if using this method will help me from having to put product in my hair every 2-3 days, but maybe once a week. We'll see how it works out.

On another note, my hair has been growing back nicely where I had the psoriasis issue. It's all just about the same length. Once again, I have to give thanks for the Jessicurl products because my hair has NEVER felt as moisturized and strong as it has now. When I started with the Jessicurl shampoo around September/October 2011, my hair was dusting my shoulders. Now it is about 2 inches from my bra clasp. My hair has never been that long especially in the days of relaxers.

Re-purposing Hair Tools

Recently, I came across a shampoo brush that I used years ago. I discontinued its use due to the negative effects it had on my hair and scalp. But I've found a new way of using the tool....to clean my hair brushes. What I do is rake the shampoo brush over my hair brushes to remove matted hair. Then I wash the brushes by using a little shampoo and water while continuing to rake the shampoo brush over them. This helps to remove dirt and oils. Great way of re-purposing a tool.

Weight Loss Chronicles - Weeks 9 & 10

Unfortunately, there's not much for me to report. :-( However, on a positive note, I haven't been eating everything under the sun and still maintaining the 10 pound loss. I'm hoping that this isn't a plateau. More to come....

Weight Loss Chronicles - Week 7 & 8 (What's My Motivation)

After reading a SparkPeople article on motivation and reflecting on where I am with this weight loss journey, I feel that it's time to take a deeper look at what has me leaning back towards the dark side of eating.  So I thought it might be a good idea to ask myself some questions for clarity.

1.  Why do I want to lose weight?

• Improve chances of getting pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy
• I want to look good for my class reunion
• Fit some of the clothes that are in my closet that I bought, but haven't been able to get in or haven't had on since my last weight loss
• Be able to look good in shirts and pants without my stomach hanging over
• Look good and get complements on how fit and young I look (I'm nearing the big 4-0)
• Be able to shop for clothes without feeling like I always have to go to the plus size section
• Look better with fad hairstyles because there is less weight in my face

2.  What is so great about sweets and fast foods?
There's something fun and exciting about sweets and fast food.  For sweets, I think it comes from the times in childhood when my dad would buy candy and give it to me when he came home from work.  I'd eat the candy and he'd twirl me around in the air.  I remember feeling good.  With fast food, again a childhood moment is that sometimes (when we had the money) my mom would buy McDonald's or Long John Silvers when we'd go to the city to see my grandmother.  We didn't have those types of places where we lived so it was a thrill.

Reflecting on these memories helps me to see that in my childhood I felt bored on most occasions, and when I did get excited food was often involved.  Even now when my husband and I go to certain restaurants, I get excited.  In addition, I do find that I have the same kind of excitement when planning and traveling for a trip.  It's the same concept as with food - in my childhood we didn't go anywhere that often, so when we did (whether to my grandmother's, to see my aunt, an amusement park, or historical site) I felt excited.  Even now that I'm grown, I'll get excited about traveling.  Another thing that excites me is going to the movies (moreso the drive in now than the theatre).  I really like movies and tv because its entertaining, shows other possibilities on how people live.  In essence, shows a lot of new things.

3.  What can help me stay motivated and on track?
Overall, I believe that the excitement from food, traveling, and movies/tv come from a break in what is boredom from routine.  I think what will help me stay on track is if I don't feel like I'm depriving myself from things I enjoy.  For food, I should follow the things I listed in the last update, but in addition plan to go to a place I really like once a week.  To keep from adding a lot of calories, I can add more exercise.  I seem to do well with watching Hulu on my phone while being on the treadmill. 

Now as far as for the Tuesday and Thursday days exercises, I need to think of something that can make it more exciting.  Bowling is an option and the cheapest days to go are Mondays or Fridays.  So for the weeks where the monotony needs to be broken we can exercise via bowling on Monday or Friday.  Another option is to change up the strength training routine and maybe do one of the SparkPeople Jump start cardio on Tuesday and the SparkPeople chair cardio on Thursdays.  Do one of the other fitness video exercises for cardio on Tuesday and choose a different one for Thursdays.  I think the key will be to change it up each month to keep boredom from setting in.

So overall, I've been maintaining the weight loss that I've already achieved, but I need to lose more.  Looking at some of the patterns learned from the past and my current motivations towards weight loss will be very helpful in my being more successful.  In addition, I have set a goal for myself to lose at least 10 pounds for the month of March.  Onward and upward!!! :-)

Importance of Water on Health and Well-being

I've never been a fan of water even as a child when we had what was called well water.  No matter how pure the water was, I could taste the minerals.  Now that bottled water is everywhere under the sun, I'm still not a fan.  It doesn't have the mineral taste, but it still makes me gag.  So I know to some degree it's a mental thing.  Do I have to put mind over matter when it comes to drinking water?  The answer is an unequivical yes. 

Before I went for my annual physical last year, I told a nurse about how every year I get jabbed numerous times in both arms when it comes time for labwork.  I wanted to know why this happens no matter who's taking my blood and what I can do to prevent it.  She emphasized drinking at least 8 glasses of water the day before my physical.  This would help my blood to be more hydrated, making it easier to find my veins.  So, I drank the water (gagging all the way through....j/k) and believe it or not, she was right.  The nurse only had to prick me once.  Thank God!!!!!!!

Another benefit of water pertains to mental health.  When the body becomes dehydrated, it affects the cells.  This could cause physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, joint stiffness, and other ailments.  As dehydration progresses it could lead to depressive symptoms such as sleep issues, low mood, further fatigue, and poor concentration.  Drinking more water could help to alleviate these symptoms.  But in either case, seeking the advice of a mental health or medical professional is best for diagnosis and treatment if dehydration is the cause.

And of course, here's the benefit from water that I'm looking for right now.....help with weight loss.  I've read a lot of health websites and one thing seems to be in common - drinking water aids in weight loss.  The concept is that if we drink a glass or two of water prior to each meal, it can assist with the "full feeling" so that we don't overeat.  In addition, the more calories that we burn via exercise, the more toxins that we shake lose in our body.  And since exercise causes a loss of water from the body, drinking water helps to replenish what was loss and wash away toxins through urination.  Water also aids in keeping our organs and muscles lubricated as well as aid oxygen in the blood. 

I have been biting the bullet and drinking more water.  On most days I drink at least 4-6 glasses via my 32 oz water bottle (the recommended amount is 8 glasses per day or 2 of my 32oz water bottle).  I have noticed that when I drink more water that I lose more weight and I don't feel as tired.  With this in mind, there is truth to the research I've read thus far.  The only part that is different for me is that it doesn't necessarily help me with feeling full.  Again, I believe this is a mind trick for me in that if I have my mind set to eat certain things in certain amounts, no amount of water will make me feel full to where I won't eat those portions.  All in all, I do find water important to overall health, and I will try my best to incorporate it more and more.  Onward and upward!!!!

The information above is opinion and experience of the blogger.   Please seek the advice of a medical and/or mental health professional for your specific needs.

Weight Loss Chronicles - Week 5 & 6 (The Devil Made Me Do It)

If you're over the age of 35, you've probably heard Flip Wilson's comedic act as Geraldine.  "Her" catchphrase was "the devil made me do it".  In essence, this was the excuse to get her out of a sticky situation.  Well, I guess you could say I've been in a sticky situation the last couple of weeks. :-) 

Cookies, candy, ice cream, and just about anything sugary sweet has been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember.  Earlier in my weight loss journey I was able to exercise or do something other than eat whenever the cravings begun.  But it didn't work this time.  So what in the world happened???  In retrospect, I believe that sweets serve as a comfort for me.  When I'm bored or feel overwhelmed, I gravitate towards what comforts me.  And over the past two weeks, I've had a lot on my plate as far as for work, church activities, and things around the house.  On top of that, being sick.  Trying to keep up and juggle it all was a bit much.  Cookies and candy became my refuge - which I knew better than to rely on.  But it was quick and satisfying.  I must admit that I've retained my 10 pound weight loss, which is good.  But the reality is that those pounds will easily creep back in if I don't shape up.  Now that I'm more aware, I have to proceed forward in a much better way.

My plan of action when the cravings hit will be to exercise if I can.  If not, I need to stop and think about why I'm having the cravings.  If it becomes so overwhelming that I feel like caving in, then choose healthier options.  Like for instance if I just need something sweet, eat yogurt.  Or if I want something with chocolate, drink my chocolate smoothie.  If I want ice cream, just make the smoothie thicker by adding more ice.  Overall, I realize the cravings are temptations.  And in a way the devil did make me do it when I fell to those temptations.  But rather than make excuses and dwell on what I did or didn't do, I'll learn from it, grow from it, and move forward for the better.  In addition, I'll continue to pray for God to help me and work with me on this because at the end of the day, this is an addiction. And I do not want the devil to have any foothold in my life.  Keep praying for me and the strength to stay on track.

Five Love Languages for Valentine's Day

Have you ever gave a gift or done something for your mate and they lit up like a Christmas tree?  If you answered "yes", chances are that whatever you gave/did spoke to your mate's love language.  So, "what is a love language?" you may be asking.  The Five Love Languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  Dr. Gary Chapman created these languages as a way of helping us to recognize what words or actions make us feel more loved and cared for.  He contends that out of the five, there is at least one that speaks more deeply to us.  This is considered our primary language.  By knowing our love language and that of our mate, we can create more close and intimate relationships.   To learn more about the Five Love Languages click here.

Using the Five Love Languages, I created this video to give an overview of the love languages as well as ideas that you can do for your mate for Valentine's Day.  The detailed list  of ideas is outlined below.

 

WORD OF AFFIRMATION –  genuine encouragement, compliments, verbal praise; the key is to make your mate feel loved and cared for through your words

(1)    Write a poem or love letter and leave it for your mate on the pillow for them to get when they wake up or place it somewhere they would easily find it.

(2)    Create a loving message  and write it on the bathroom mirror with shaving cream or lipstick (something that can be washed off)

(3)    Make or buy a t-shirt for yourself with a loving message for your mate.  Show up at their job on their lunch break or welcome them at the door at home wearing your t-shirt with a bouquet of flowers

QUALITY TIME –  where you are focused and present meaning your mate has your undivided attention

(1)    Plan a special getaway to a place that your mate likes (i.e. bed and breakfast)

(2)    Remember what it was like when you first dated your mate.  Ask your partner out to coffee or a special restaurant with a secluded area. Put away the phones/computers etc and just sit and chat. Have some questions available to start a conversation so the topic isn’t about work, the kids, or regular day-to-day stuff. Really find out some new information about them. Or reminisce.

(3)    Play board games, video games, watch a movie, cook a favorite dish, or even ride bikes.  You can choose one of these options or several.  The key is to have fun spending time together

RECEIVING GIFTS – visual expression of love that tells your mate that they are thought of and cared for

(1)    Choose something that the person needs, likes or enjoys.  This shows that you’re being attentive to the needs and desires of your mate.  Some suggestions are his/her favorite cologne/perfume, a watch (with a favorite sports team), article of clothing, etc. 

(2)    If you decide to go the traditional route with flowers, candy, and balloons, you can make it a fun adventure by making it a scavenger hunt.  At each interval, your mate finds a new “treasure”.

(3)    For the gentleman: create a basket with his favorite liquor,  bar set with glasses, and favorite music.  Add cigars if he likes them

For the lady: create a basket with a bottle of her favorite wine, a set of wine glasses.  Include candles and bubble bath to make it a pamper package.

ACTS OF SERVICE –  performing a service or chore out of love, not obligation

(1)    This could be cooking dinner,cleaning up the house, or completing tasks on the honey do list

(2)    Wash/clean/wax your mate’s car, fill with gas

(3)    Time and rest can also be considered as gifts for act of service.  If your
mate is exhausted from work, dealing with the kids, or some other stressor.  Give them a day to themselves to unwind and relax.  If you need a visual representative to give, create a “coupon”  that your mate can redeem.

PHYSICAL TOUCH - touching your mate in a way that makes them feel loved (this is more about intimacy than the act of sex)

(1)    Express your love for your mate through hugging, kissing, holding hands, or stroking the side of your mate’s face.  The key is to make these gestures often without provocation.  Or you could play a board game where certain things match a physical touch.  For instance, if you played Monopoly, every time you passed GO, you could kiss.

(2)    Cuddling in front of the fireplace or watching a movie

(3)    Spa day for your mate performed by you.  Give him/her a scalp or foot massage, back rub, manicure, or pedicure.  Another idea is a good back scratch.  Something about that makes you feel good all over

These are just suggestions - you may have others.  The point is to be creative.  Put some thought and feeling behind the words and actions to make that special someone feel special.  This is an opportunity to express yourself.  And if you feel stumped on what his/her love language may be, ask the question "what things or situations make you feel loved and appreciated?".  Their answer should fall under at least one of the languages.  But if that still doesn't work, try doing something from each of the languages and pay attention to their response. 

It's Party Time!!!!!

Well, not actually.  But I am in the mood to celebrate.  I weighed myself this morning and I have lost my first 10 pounds.  I'm so excited and happy about it, I could do back flips (hey, I could add that to my cardio). LOL.  Anywho,  I just wanted to share this accomplishment.  More to come in the weeks ahead. 

Not Again....

Yet another month without a successful conception.  This month, I wasn't as disappointed or down like I was last month.  Don't get me wrong, it still hurt, but to a lesser degree.  I thought about the stories I heard about my mom and the miscarriages that she had years before I was born, and about other family members that never had children for unknown reasons.  This led my thoughts into wondering if there could be something genetic going on.  I've had all the fertility tests done and all say there's nothing wrong, but there has to be something.  My only justification at this point is that God doesn't feel it's time yet.  That in itself can be disappointing because it seems like there's something wrong with us preventing parenthood and our patience is wearing thin.  Prayer has definitely been helpful dealing with all of this, but I am really curious about the possible genetic link.  We've decided to give it one more month and then off to the doctors we go.

Weight Loss Chronicles - Week 3 & 4

Just like clockwork, weeks 3 and 4 have been difficult.   The cravings kicked in, my motivation to exercise waned, and water weight (in the form of bloat) added 4 pounds.  A couple days I had thoughts to just give up and go back to eating everything under the sun and resume my reign as couch potato.  What turned things around for me was when I saw and heard my husband wanting to give up too.  He had been doing so well with eating properly, riding his bike more, and doing the crazy cardio dances with me even though he didn't think they were masculine.  With this in mind, I realized that my problem was becoming his problem and I did some meditating.  I found out that I was letting my feelings dictate my motivation to exercise, my drive to eat fatty foods, and I had to get this in check - ASAP.  So the good news is that I'm getting back on track and the bloat is gone. I weighed myself this morning and so far I've dropped 9 pounds.  More to come.... 

Weight Loss Chronicles - Week 1 & 2

The video below chronicles the challenges, successes, and tips I've experienced over the past two weeks.  My hopes are to post an update on my progress here or on my YouTube channel every other week. 

Weight Loss Redux

A few months back I mentioned that I was trying to lose weight and that I was trying to shed pounds through diet and exercise.  Well, things went left and whatever I did lose (a whopping 4 lbs) I gained back.  Soooo, just like I said in my New Year's video, time shouldn't be wasted when it comes to achieving goals.  I took my own advice and have started back on the weight loss journey.

At this point, I have completed my first week of eating better and exercising.  On Tuesday and Thursday, I did 30 minutes of strength training, and 25-30 minutes of cardio (Intro to Belly Dancing and Billy Blanks Jr).  On Saturday, I rode my bike about 3 miles and did 30 minutes on the treadmill.  I have to admit that I felt more energized after working out.  I can certainly use it.

Eating has actually been easy and enjoyable this week.  I ate a high fiber cereal with milk or not in the mornings, and portioned entrees for lunch.  Dinner is generally steak, chicken, or soup with sides of veggies.  Snacks have been anything from baked chips to smoothies.  Before, I was a soda feine, but I've cut back and drink more water or flavored water (I try to watch how much sugar I take in).  Overall, my food intake has been between 1200-1550 calories per day with my goal of calories to burn each week set at 980.  In just a week's time, I've lost 5 pounds. 

I feel excited about the progress so far.  I've been telling myself to take it a day at a time and not to get so caught up in the number of pounds I want to lose overall and when I want to lose it by.  I think that added to my stress and feelings of discouragement beforehand.  Especially when I didn't see results after putting in the work.  One thing is for certain, 2012 will be my year of positive change.

Ways to Save Money

The shape of the economy, cost of gas, lost jobs, and inflation on living expenses can wreak havoc on the pocket book.  In 2011, my husband and I did some investigating on our expenses to see where we could cut back.  The video below shares in detail some of the things that we have tried.

 

If you have some tips on other ways to save moolah, please post in the comments.

Happy 2012!!!

Happy New Year!!!  My hopes for everyone is that this year will find you in good health, warm spirits, and prosperity beyond your wildest dreams.

Now that the well-wishes are out of the way, I wanted to write about the all-time favorite task for this time of year - making resolutions.  We often find certain areas of our lives that we'd like to work on and our best intentions are to carry out plans for change in these areas.  However, somewhere towards the middle of January to February, we revert back to old ways and habits.  But why does this happen?  My guess  is that we need more than our best intentions to accomplish goals.  So I want to challenge everyone considering new years resolutions to ask themselves these questions:

1. What are my reasons for wanting this change?
2. What are some things that would deter me? 
3. How will I avoid or work through these obstacles?
4. How will I keep myself motivated? 
5. How do I want others to motivate me?

Writing down your goal, plan for achieving the goal, and how to work through any problems and keys to motivation, can make all the difference in your achievement.  Even if bumps come along, view these as lessons learned.  Be patient with yourself, the process of change, and stay disciplined to carry out your resolutions.  Let's make 2012 a great year! 

Journey to Motherhood

I felt reluctant to blog about my thoughts and feelings today because I thought it was too personal and I'm still rather raw.  But I changed my mind because I figured that what I might post may reach someone else and help them.  It may also help me to deal with the hurt, anger, disappointment, and pain that have entered my being.

So what am I talking about?  I'm talking about the fact that I have started my period.  My husband and I have been trying to conceive and today is yet another month of feeling like a failure.  Earlier in the year, we went to a fertility specialist to be tested and discuss our options.  The good news is that my husband is healthy.  The bad news is that the quality of my eggs is on the poor side.  Our doctor said that this may improve if I lose weight (she wants me to lose 20 pounds, but honestly I need to lose at least 50).  She suggested that I see a nutritionist and start to exercise more.

Since our doctor visit, I saw a nutritionist and tried most of the options for about a month - including exercising more.  I didn't lose any weight.    Why was it so difficult for me to lose weight?  I hadn't had a problem in the past.  What's going on with my body?  How in the world am I going to get this weight off?  I looked into weight loss supplements, but some caused health issues (didn't want to take that risk).  Thought about liposuction too (would have to pay out of pocket because insurance would not cover it).  All in all, I felt discouraged and pretty much stopped trying anything though hubby and I still kept up our efforts.

My next idea was to do research on obesity and pregnancy.  Most of my findings outlined a potential link between fertility issues and obesity.  And for those where conception still occurred, there is a likelihood that the mother and baby could suffer health consequences.  Once again, I felt hopeless until I saw a program on The Learning Channel featuring women who were obese and pregnant.  The physicians interviewed emphasized that their concerns were with the mother's risk of developing gestational diabetes or preeclampsia.  In addition, there was concern over the use of more medications with the mothers because of the excess weight.  By the end of the show, all of the mother's delivered healthy babies and most of the physicians were surprised that there were no complications.  This was music to my ears, but what about my other issue????

The other issue is that I'm over 35.  It has been said that fertility declines once a woman reaches 35.  Once again, feelings of hopelessness.  And once again I started investigating.  I read about the plight of others via babycenter.com's community.  There were women in the same boat - over 35 and wanting to have their first child.  Some were successful on their own while others sought the services of a fertility specialist.  The oldest woman that had a baby (naturally mind you) was 47.  Definitely a glimmer of hope for me considering that I"m 37. 

With the hope that obesity and age may not be a hindrance for me, I still find that I'm leery about the quality of my eggs.  I don't want to do donor eggs because it would not truly be my child.  I would only be the incubator.  I want a baby that is a part of me.  Is that so wrong?  I've been praying and relying on my faith in God that He would make everything alright, but every time my period comes, it makes me feel like I've failed once again and that maybe I'm being punished.  I'm tired of the cracks about "when are you going to have a child" or "whatcha waiting on".  I'm trying, believe me I am.  It just hasn't happened.  Sure there are women who did not have children and lived happy, productive lives, but do I have to be one of them?  It just hurts so bad.  I'm not sure what our next steps will be.  Keep us in your prayers.

Wintertime Reading

One of my hobbies when it's cold outside is reading.  There's something about curling up with a blanket and reading a good story that makes me feel all warm and cozy.  Listed below are some of the books that I've recently read.  And to read other great books, check out my bookshelf  by clicking here.

• Stuck in the Middle by Virginia Smith
• Interruption: The Gospel According to Crystal by Tracey Michae'l Lewis
• A Very Special Delivery by Linda Goodnight

I'm currently reading Queen of New Beginnings by Erica James.  So far, the book is a little dull and depressing, but I have to admit that I'm only a few chapters in.  I try to give books like these a chance by reading to the halfway mark in case the story picks up for the better. 

Merry Christmas One and All!!!

"For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder.  And His Name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."  Isaiah 9:6

May the Spirit of this season abide with you now and forevermore.  Have a wonderfully blessed Christmas.

~Mello925~

Hair Analysis Update

A couple months ago, I posted about getting a professional hair analysis done and what I planned for my regimen.  To date, I've stuck with shampooing and conditioning once a week and using a leave in every 2-3 days.  Below are my results from the products that were recommended. 

• Jessicurl cleansing cream - isn't bad; my hair is clean but not as squeaky clean as I would like; island fantasy has a nice smell and my hair was soft and not feeling stripped; will use rest of bottle but may not purchase again.
• 50:50 Giovanni conditioner (as a wash out and a leave in)- did not like this as a wash out or leave in; hair felt moisturized for a few hours then felt soft but extremely dry; finished the bottle but won't purchase again.
• Jessicurl weekly deep conditioner - only used this once, but so far I love it (but not the citrus version smell, to mediciny); hair felt great while putting it in, detangling, and after washing it out; I did sit under a dryer for an hour with a plastic cap before washing out; I will use this as my regular conditioner but may not do the plastic cap or an hour each week; as of right now, I would purchase this again.
• Kinky curly curling custard - I was leary about purchasing this after reading other reviews; so far the product has been great especially after washing, conditioning, and using kinky curly knot today as a leave in; I found the key to using this is that hair should be wet and to use sparingly; my hair did not feel crunchy at all and when time to refresh (3 days later), I just needed to spritz my hair with water and put a little knot today in; and my curls were nicely defined; I would purchase this again.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Thanksgiving is the time of year that most gather with family and friends to share reasons for giving thanks while enjoying a hearty meal.  Indeed it is a blessing to share the holiday with loved ones.  On this holiday, please remember those who may not be as fortunate.  God bless you all.  Happy Thanksgiving!

~Mello925~